Dear Adventurers of Azeroth,
It has come to my attention that certain organizations, who shall remain nameless (Wyrmrest Accord, for one) have (Argent Crusade, too) tried to paint me (the Horde and the Alliance, come to think of it)(you know, I think pretty much everyone) in the worst light possible.
They claim that I will lay waste to Azeroth with fire and FIERY PITS OF LAVA and storms and oh-so-much mayhem and destruction.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I am not a destroyer. I am a creator. You all just happen to be standing on my canvas. I’m sure you can see that, if you just move a few hundred leagues away from your cities and towns, things will work out for both of us.
You will all see. My design is grand, the scope enormous. The world will be a much better place, I am certain, if we just tweak things a little here and there, like a few hundred thousand dragon eggs or the beaches of Darkshore. I mean, you guys wanted some water in Thousand Needles. I’m giving it to you!
If you disagree with my plans, just put a little note in the box. I’ll be sure to read each and every one of them. Just don’t come pounding on my door and make a mess of things. Don’t send your armies against me, don’t run screaming to the Kirin Tor. We can all live peacefully, together, in this great new world that I designed.
I will even give you a pony.
Now I shall take my leave of you. You have given me much in these few, short hours, including troll meat, carcasses, and the chance to sing. Until we meet again, brave souls, until we meet again.
The Artist Formerly Known As The Destroyer